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So today I start my first blog ever. I thought this would be a good way to get my feelings out other than throwing something through a window. Well, lets take you through the beginning. I was 18 when I joined the Army and 19 when I met my husband. Was it love at first sight? No it was not. I dated him for a week before I found out that he was married and 12 years older than me and then I broke up with him. I went on many horrible dates after that and then I decided to give him a second chance because he was relentless in pursuing me. I still remember what I thought to myself when I decided to take him back " I will grow to love him". Words I will forever regret. I was pregnant four months later which did in fact get me out of a deployment but he left two weeks after finding out I was pregnant. He came back when our daughter was 7 months old and moved right in. All he wanted to do was go out with his friends and leave me at home with the baby. He left me crying on the doorstep many times waiting all night for him to come home only for him to show up at 6 or 7 in the morning. A few months after he got home from Kuwait he got a divorce, a month after that we were married. I cried on our wedding day because I feared that it was the biggest mistake i was making but didnt know how to turn back. On our wedding night he went out with his friends and I went to mine. He didnt come home all night long. 3 months into our marriage he told me that he was not in love with me anymore and wanted a divorce.